Jobs, Kris, and Valentines Day. || 2008-02-15 at 2:14 a.m.
I think I've finally made a layout I might stick with for a while. [I'm constantly changing the look of my diary; as you will probably notice the longer you read.]
Once again, I can't sleep. Well, I guess it's not so much that I can't. I just don't want to. I need to get a job again. That seems to be the only thing that helps me get on a regular sleeping pattern. Speaking of jobs; I went to the place where I got my GED on Wednesday because I remembered them having a lady there who helps youth find work and talked to her. It's not as simple as just going in and getting some applications [which is what I was hoping for.] It's a huge long process which will probably benefit me in the end but like the addict I am I want it now. I don't care about a year from today.
Anyway, I had to sign all these papers and tell this lady a lot about me to see how much I would qualify for finacial help. I guess being a high school drop out, unemployed, and a drug addict finally helped me somewhere. Haha. Today I'm going in to get help writing a resume.
I still haven't talked to Kris about our engagement and I don't think I'm going to. If something happens and we break up then I believe that what was supposed to happen and it would have happened whether we are engaged or just boyfriend and girlfriend. I think that's a good way of looking at it... or maybe just the easy way out.
While I was laying next to Kris tonight I was thinking about whether or not him and I moving to Washington would reallt be a good thing. On one hand I do have a lot of friends there as well as nearly all my family. There are also a lot of meetings there that I enjoy going to and I have a lot of people there to support me in my recovery. But on the other hand there are a lot of people there that I just don't I'm strong enough to avoid being around. People that I used to use with, people that are just no good for me spiritually, people who are everything I'm trying to learn how to not be. My parents are there to enable me and I think it wouldn't do Kris and my relationship anything but trouble. As he was falling asleep tonight I told him I didn't want to go back to Washington and he asked why. I told him we could talk about it tomorrow.
Oh yes, yesterday was Valentines Day. I hate that "holiday." It was one year ago yesterday that Jason and I got into a very bad car accident and this was the result. This year was much better though. Kris took me out to dinner and a movie. Our roommate and his girlfriend were there as well. It was a very fun night and I enoyed myself.
Now, it might actually be time for bed though.
What I'm Hearing: Silence.
What I'm Thinking: Why do I stay up so late?
What I'm Watching: