Bye pink cloud. || 2008-02-16 at 12:01 a.m.
And the pink cloud is gone.
This time it's not a pink cloud in recovery. I'm talking a pink cloud in life. Yesterday was bad. My depression was pretty bad. [Not that it's ever good.] I cried a for quite a while and isolated even more. Kris came in our room to talk to me and I just dumped it all out. It's nice that he lets me do that but I have to remind myself that's not why he's there. I told him I know exactly what will help me get out of my head but I'm just too damn lazy to do anything about it. It's also just comfortable to stay this way because it's what I've known for the last six years. I told him why I want to go to Washington and the reasons I that "my addict" wants me to go back.
I wrote a list of chores to do today. I'm going to set my alarm clock before I go to bed. Maybe that will help me get something done and possibly make me feel a little better knowing that I did something with my day.
Cora [Matt's girlfriend] and I might go to a movie tonight. That might help me a little as well. Kris and Matt are going to a LAN party at the college. I think it will be good for me to spend some time away from him. Not because of anything bed just because we spend just about every second together.
I forgot about my appointment with Elizabeth at The Learning Connection today. Well, I actually could have made it because I remembered while Kris and I were on our way to his mom's work and it's reight next to it but I wasn't dressed and I didn't have my SSC with me. So, I called her from Laura's [Kris' mom] work phone and left a message apologizing for not making it because I know she was trying hard to fit me into her scheduale but that I'd call on Monday to make another appointment.
I need to set some goals. Make a daily scheduale and follow it as much as I can. I need to go to some meetings and make some friends. Maybe even go to some support groups they have here for co-dependency and something else [I can't remember at the moment.] I need to start eating healthier, getting enough sleep, and getting a little bit of exersize everyday [not including sex.]
That's what I need to do. Even if I start out just doing a couple of those things. I just need to do it. Stop talking about it and thinking about it. Just do it. [I hope Nike doesn't sue. Haha.]
Goodnight.
What I'm Hearing: Zeppelin
What I'm Thinking: I should listen to music while writing these.
What I'm Watching: