A little bit of everything. || 2008-02-24 at 12:25 a.m.
I hate being so shy. It makes it damn near impossible to make friends. Well, there's also the fact that I never go anywhere. I sit at home all the time. I do things around the house when it's needed and then bitch about being the only person ever doing anything. Only because I feel the need to bitch about something... anything.
Kris got invited to go to go play poker tonight. I guess there's going to be drinking involved. Which kind of makes me mad because he told me he would stop all that stuff because he knows I can't have anything to do with it. I didn't tell him that though because I tell he wants to go. So, I just told him that he should go. He said he feels bad but I don't really believe it.
He's been playing video games since about the time he got home from work. He is really starting to remind me more and more of Jason. Which is not going to make this easy. He knows I don't like it but I don't ever tell him to get off or not to play I just let him do it because I know he likes it. It's like I don't exsist sometimes. Only if I seem mad at him or if he wants to get laid.
I've got this tug-o-war going on in my mind. About the pro's and con's of staying here and of going home. I'm not happy here and if I'm not happy and I'm not willing to do anything about it I'm going to either hurt myself or get high. Although if I go home I have my parents to enable me and a lot of connections.
I have about seven cigarettes left in my pack and when they're gone I'm quitting. So, tomorrow. Also, I'm seriously concidering a diet. Not until I get back from Clean and Free though. Too much yummy food to pass up there.
Matt leaves tomorrow for the Police Academy but he's staying at his mom's tonight so I won't see him again until June 5th. I'm still pissed about him not paying me back. Even more so now because I heard him on the phone the other day asking his dad if he could help him buy a laptop and he had a couple hundred dollars. What the fuck? Oh well, there's nothing I can do about it.
I apologize for the randomness of this entry (possibly all of my entires) but I just have to type whats on my mind at the exact moment.
What I'm Hearing: Chris Cornell
What I'm Thinking: I wish I knew what was best for me.
What I'm Watching: